You Don’t See Yourself…

Confession…this Momma gets Botox…yeah, I do! Another confession…this Momma also used to be VERY anti-Botox. I got over that quickly once I did it the first time and saw the results. The Botox I get a couple of times a year and my organic skin care (I know, I know…I get Botox, but use organic skin care…hypocrisy at its best, right?)…has been a game changer for me. However, this post is not about Botox or skin care, this post is about what happened while I was getting Botox.

I was sitting in the Botox chair talking with my amazing Esthetician, as we always do, before she gets out the dreaded needle. And as I looked in the handheld mirror, on this particular day, I had A LOT to say about my face.

Now, I am actually more confident now, at 35 years old, than I have probably ever been in my entire life. However, that doesn’t mean that I am confident every single day! I have just as many “I look blah” days as the next Momma.

So…I sat there with the mirror while absolutely tearing my face apart…”I want to fix this, I need to fix this…and what about this? Can you fix this?” I looked up questioning. My sweet Esthetician chuckled, and said, “Tara, you don’t see yourself the way everyone else does.” I looked at her dumbfounded. She said, “When I look at you, I don’t see any of the things you just pointed out. I see a beautiful girl with a pretty smile.”

I stopped to take in what she had just said, and it got me thinking…she was SO RIGHT, but on a MUCH LARGER SCALE!

We don’t ever REALLY see ourselves, do we? When we look in the mirror we see the little crows feet by our eyes, we see the few extra pounds we have recently put on, we see the hair we can’t fix, the teeth that aren’t white enough, etc. We never stop to think about how other people see us.

As we get older, things on our bodies are going to get older too…as is life. We can get Botox, we can spend money on all the things that may keep us young, but we are still going to age…even if all these things will certainly help us do it more delicately. And let’s be clear, I am a big advocate of being healthy and taking care of yourself. However, we need to remember to do it in a way that allows us some grace.

To this point, I recently had a conversation with a childhood friend. I was telling her how awful my skin looked in high school and how bad my acne was. I was SO self-conscious about my face. Some days, I dreaded going to school, because I had a particularly bad breakout. She looked at me sideways, and said, “Really, I always thought you had great skin in high school. I don’t ever remember you having acne.” Quite frankly, I was STUNNED. I had spent years agonizing over my face…and she didn’t even remember. The people in our lives aren’t going to remember the little imperfections that we beat ourselves up over.

They ARE going to remember your smile and the unconditional support you gave them when they shared with you a dream they were about to embark on. They ARE going to remember the hug that you gave them when they were going through a tough time in life. They ARE going to remember the hand that you held out for them when they needed someone to help them be brave. They ARE going to remember the time when you drove hours through the night to show up for them when they lost a loved one. They ARE going to remember the times when you all doubled over with laughter so hard that your stomachs hurt and your eyes welled up with happy tears. They ARE most certainly NOT going to remember your breakouts.

The people in our lives see SO MUCH MORE in us than our exterior! And when we are all old and gray…those are the things they will remember most about us. SO…when we start to tear ourselves apart…STOP IT! Stop and think about how others see us, because in the end…no one cares what you looked like. They only care about the person you were, how you made them feel, and the memories that you’ve shared.

My Best, and As Always…


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