Be the Peanut Butter, Not the Jelly

Recently, I had a conversation with one of my friends…and afterwards I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. And as things tend to do these days, it got me thinking.

We were talking about a situation, and after we discussed what had happened…I told my friend that the best kind of friend is someone who isn’t jealous of your success. If you find a friend who can be genuinely happy for you when things are going your way, especially when things are so clearly NOT going their way at the moment, you better hold onto that friend…because in the game of life…that kind of friendship is a rare gift.

As I sat there staring at my sandwich, I thought to myself…am I a peanut butter friend or a jelly friend? While I am not perfect by no means…I can absolutely say, without a doubt, that when good things happen to the people I care about…I am genuinely happy for them, and I fully support their achievements.

This predisposition of mine dates back to my childhood…even at my second grade birthday party (at Showbiz Pizza, local 80’s kids may remember this place), there were some little girls there who were angry that I got more game tokens and a crown because I was the birthday girl. I gave one of them my crown, evenly split up all of my tokens, and gave the coins to each one of them. I told my husband this story a few days ago and he said, “You haven’t changed…still more concerned about everyone else, even if it costs you your happiness…those girls were just jealous Tara.”

Back then, I didn’t think of it that way…I didn’t realize when I was a little girl that people will break you down just because they want what you have. I was always more concerned about whether or not everyone was happy. I was and am still naturally a perpetual people-pleaser (this is something I work on daily).

Here’s the thing…and please hear this! It’s OKAY to bask in the positive things you achieve! Why do we feel guilty or embarrassed to share the good stuff?

When you are with your true friends, your peanut butter friends, you should be able to be excited about the great things that are happening in your life…whether that is a career goal, a personal fitness regimen that you are currently slaying, an achievement that your child received at school, or even the fact that you actually got everything done on your “to do” list…we shouldn’t feel bad for the “happy” in our lives…no matter how big or small the achievement. Share the positivity!

Don’t surround yourself with jelly friends…those friends that are jealous about your successes, those friends that slip through the cracks when life gets tough, those friends that are overly sweet to your face and sticky behind your back, those friends that waver in support and consistency…depending on what is going on in their life. Remove those jelly friends from your narrative.

Instead, hold on with both hands and feet to your peanut butter friends…those friends that will hold you together when life starts to fall apart, those friends who will support you when you are achieving your dreams, those friends that are sweet with the just the right amount of salty honesty when you need to hear it, those friends who will be smooth and calm when people treat you right and will get crunchy when someone messes with you.

Your peanut butter friends will be there, a big ole’ jar of love…waiting for the times that you need them. And just like a jar of peanut butter, even if you don’t engage every day, time will not change the consistency and strength of their friendship.

Choosing who we surround ourselves with is one of the biggest keys to living a positive and happy life…so get rid of the “jelly.” Take a look at your friendship cupboard…I hope that you find it stockpiled with an infinite amount of peanut butter!

Wherever you are in the world, I hope you have a terrific Thursday!

My Best, and As Always…