“Oh, you should do this!” “Wait…you haven’t done this before?” “Why haven’t you?” “You should have already done that.”
A couple of weeks ago, a friend told me she attended a play date. At this play date, she had a conversation with the other moms about child raising. When she left the play date…she felt down, she felt like she was #momfailing, she felt like she couldn’t keep up, and most importantly…she felt judged.
Here is what I know about this mom, and quite frankly, about every mom I associate myself with…we are all AMAZING mothers! Do we get it right every time…umm no, that would mean we were perfect, and no one is perfect. BUT do we get it right most of the time, when it REALLY counts? Unequivocally YES…every…single…time.
We have all been there…victim to what I call “the Judgy Mom Movement,” where other moms seem to feel entitled enough to tell you everything that you are doing wrong with your children. Shockingly, a lot of the time, this unsolicited “wisdom” comes from people who don’t really know you or your family dynamic…but for whatever reason, they feel the need to interject their opinion into your life.
As my children have gotten older, I have distanced myself from the “judgy” moms. I just don’t have the time, effort, or energy…I mean, raising a family is exhausting enough! I surround myself with moms and great friends who support each other. The kind of women who remind each other that, “Girl, we have ALL been there!” when one of us is having a particularly hard parenting day. These friends are paramount to my day-to-day.
My mom has told me in the past that she is so glad that she didn’t have to raise a family in my generation. She said, “You put way too much pressure on yourselves in the areas where it doesn’t really matter.” It’s true…the amount of pressure WE put on ourselves to “keep up” is overwhelming.
The minute, and I actually remember the exact minute, that I finally stopped trying to “keep up” with the judgy moms…it was as if I had lifted a mountain off my shoulders. I know that we are raising two incredible little boys. They are smart, sweet, determined, curious, mischievous, well-mannered (most of the time), and loving. This is what I know…and this IS it what MATTERS.
We all put our mom jeans on one leg at a time. And there is no Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants situation when it comes to being a mom…it is NOT a one size fits all scenario, and it NEVER will be. What works well for one family, isn’t necessarily going to work for another. There are too many factors that go into raising a family. Only YOU know what is best for you and yours!
We all have days when we go to bed and say to ourselves, “Tomorrow, I will be a better mom.” Being a parent is never going to be a constant win…and it’s not EASY. It’s hard…some days, it’s REALLY HARD. But I like to think that most of us our doing the best we can…and in the end…all your children really care about is the fact that you love them, that you support them, and that home truly is the sweetest place on Earth.
Being a mom isn’t always about those “knock it out of the park” moments, it’s about the fleeting subtle little moments. It’s about the cuddles on the couch, the boo-boo kisses, the bedtime stories, the whispered “I love yous” after a tantrum, the cheering from the sideline when your child makes their first goal, the pride you feel when they make the right decision, the hugs that are so tight and not long enough, the laughter you hear as your children play, the smile that you find on your lips when you watch your family interact…these are the moments that matter…these are the moments that truly define what a good mother you are.
So whatever style, cut, or size you choose…wear those mom jeans with pride! YOU ARE A MOM! You have the hardest job in the universe…and YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB!
Wherever you are in the world, I wish you a terrific Tuesday Leisurelings!
My best, and as always…